In 2019, Amber Smith and her husband, Granger Smith, suffered a terrible loss when their three-year-old son, River, drowned in their backyard pool. The tragedy brought immense grief, not only for the loss of their child but also from cruel comments on social media. At the time, the couple had two other children, Lincoln and London, who also needed their parents’ comfort. Granger, who was a country singer and is now a minister, struggled so much that he almost took his own life.
Amber Smith, now 43, shares her story of heartache and healing in a new book called “The Girl on the Bathroom Floor.” She talks about how her and her husband’s faith in God helped them stay together during the toughest times.
Smith says that losing River was a big test for their marriage. Right after the accident, while River was still in the hospital, she and Granger decided they would not let this tragedy break their family. They committed to finding good in the situation and supporting each other.
She remembers that when they came home without River, they grieved in different ways, which was hard to handle. They had to learn how to give each other space, when to offer support, and when to pray together. Above all, they had to be understanding with each other and with their children.
Smith admits that it was still very hard to deal with the pain, but she refused to let it destroy them. There was a time when Granger felt so guilty and ashamed that he almost ended his life. Thankfully, he didn’t, and they leaned on each other and their church community for support.
Smith believes that even though there’s no easy way to grieve, their marriage vows meant “for better or for worse.” They promised to face whatever came their way together, and that’s what they’ve been doing since that terrible day.
In her book, Smith describes how the image of River in the pool haunted Granger’s thoughts. In a moment of despair, he considered using a gun to end his life. Smith said that it breaks her heart to think he felt that was the only way out, and she wishes she had known how much he was suffering.
Despite her own grief, Smith says she never blamed God. She points to the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross as a sign of God’s love and understanding of human pain. She trusts that even when she doesn’t understand God’s plan, He loves us and will never abandon us.
Smith found comfort in God’s word, which says that every person’s days are numbered from the beginning. She realized that no matter what she did, she couldn’t have changed the number of days River was meant to live.
Since River’s passing, Smith and her husband have used social media to share information about water safety for children. They were hurt by comments from people who blamed them for not teaching River to swim, even though he was only out of their sight for a moment when the accident happened.
Smith says that their church community was a great help, providing support with everyday tasks. The family prayed together and found comfort in hearing stories from other parents who had gone through similar experiences. They decided to sell their home and build a new one in Texas, hoping for a fresh start.
About two months after River’s death, Smith found herself laughing while watching her other children playing in the rain. Although she felt guilty at first, she realized that it was okay to find joy again.
Smith says that she learned that true joy comes from God, not from circumstances. Even when life is hard, faith in Christ can bring joy.
In 2021, the Smiths had another son, Maverick Beckham Smith. While he will never replace River, Smith sees him as a new chapter in their family’s story. Because of what happened to River, Smith made sure to put Maverick in swim lessons early.
Smith said that watching Maverick struggle in the water brought back painful memories of River, but it was also empowering to see him learn to float and find air. Now that he is four years old and a skilled swimmer, she feels confident that he has the skills to survive if anything were to happen.
Smith hopes that her book will give hope to other grieving parents. She believes that faith in the Lord is essential for getting through the difficult times in life.
She concludes, “You cannot do this without the Lord. You cannot make it through the hard things in this life. Life is hard, but it’s even harder without Christ.”
