Teaching Kids Good Manners: The Art of Dining Out
In New York City, a notable trend is emerging among parents aiming to raise well-mannered children, particularly when dining out. Moms like Jamie Boxer from Brooklyn are steering away from the idea of screen time at the table, instead focusing on training their children to enjoy meals in social settings, cultivating appreciation for the city’s diverse culinary scene.
“There’s nothing quite like eating out in New York City,” says Boxer, a 36-year-old speech pathologist. “I want my kids to cherish that experience just as much as I do.” With the aim of fostering stronger social skills, parents are teaching their children to engage in meaningful conversations rather than zoning out with their tablets and phones during meals.
Boxer co-founded the social media platform @Table4Tots, a resource where parents can share insights about kid-friendly dining spots. Alongside her friends, she often takes her children to local favorites like Lilia and Eataly, emphasizing the importance of learning good restaurant etiquette from an early age.
The rise of “restaurant training” is being embraced by families across the nation and even beyond, as parents commit to breaking the cycle of over-reliance on technology—often dubbed the “iPad Kid” phenomenon. Recent studies have raised concerns about how excessive screen time impacts social and emotional development in children. Many parents report feeling disconnected from their kids, fearing that their reliance on screens is robbing them of valuable family moments.
To counter this, etiquette experts recommend starting education at home. Mariah Grumet Humbert, an etiquette trainer based in Manhattan, encourages parents to engage their children in enjoyable exercises at home to instill good dining habits. She suggests playful approaches like setting the dinner table correctly or practicing conversation skills. Children learn best through interactive experiences, gaining understanding about respecting shared spaces and the importance of politeness.
The commitment to raising responsible young diners extends to parents like Rosdaly Ramirez from the Bronx. She felt the need to reevaluate her family’s relationship with technology after realizing her sons were relying on screens to stay entertained during meals. By promoting interactive games like eye-spy, she aims to encourage her children to stay curious about their surroundings and cultivate confidence in social situations.
Danielle Currie, a mother of three living in Florida, is another advocate for these practices. Before dining out, she sits down with her kids to discuss expected manners, hoping to prepare them for public outings. “We didn’t grow up bringing iPads to dinner, and we want the same for our kids,” she asserts. Upbringing with boundaries, she thinks, leads to happier children who are well-adjusted in public settings.
For many parents, teaching kids how to behave in restaurants isn’t merely about preventing disruptions; it’s about preparing them for life. “Boredom can spark creativity,” says Ashley McCarley, an Alabama mom, who sees value in her children engaging with their environment instead of being glued to screens. By fostering their imaginations during meals, her kids have developed unique tastes and preferences, choosing more sophisticated dishes than fried options.
The trend isn’t confined to American borders, as seen in places like Canada and the UK. Parents like Tory Halpin and Hannah Morgan advocate for keeping kids off screens, focusing instead on shaping respectful diners. Halpin humorously acknowledges the challenge of modeling good behavior, but insists that setting the right example is crucial.
In Midtown Manhattan, etiquette expert Myka Meier recently launched a “Mini Manners” program for young children to learn proper dining behaviors. She points out that teaching kids to dine well allows parents to reclaim their social life, creating enjoyable dining experiences without the anxiety of dealing with screens and tantrums.
Meier shares a list of practical tips for parents who wish to train their children in restaurant etiquette:
- Define good manners as kindness and respect in shared spaces.
- Praise children for sitting properly and using their napkins.
- Teach them how to hold utensils and maintain eye contact during conversation.
- Emphasize the importance of saying “please” and “thank you.”
- Start training at a young age, even bringing newborns along to restaurants.
- Take a quick break outside if a child is struggling.
- For teens, reward good behavior with the opportunity to choose the next dining spot.
- Remember that children learn by imitating adults, so model good manners yourself.
As families prioritize meaningful connections over digital distractions, the movement towards creating well-behaved diners is gaining traction, promising a future where children can flourish in social environments. It’s a heartening change benefiting both parents and children alike.
