Belle Burden, a woman who grew up with wealth, has written a book called “Strangers: A Memoir of Marriage.” In it, she tells about her life after her husband had an affair and they got a divorce.
Belle’s parents were important people. Her father, Carter Burden, came from the Vanderbilt family and owned a TV company. Her mother, Amanda Burden, was a city planner and her mother was a famous socialite named Babe Paley. Belle was rich when she met and married Henry Davis.
Henry, who Belle calls “James” in her book, was a lawyer. His family had money when he was young, but they lost it later. Belle says that Henry wanted to be a good husband and father.
They got married in 1999. Before the wedding, Belle’s mother told her to get a prenuptial agreement. This is a contract that says what will happen to their money if they get divorced. Belle didn’t think she needed one because her money was already protected.
The first version of the agreement said that they would each keep the money they had before the marriage, but they would split any money they made during the marriage. James didn’t like this idea. He wanted to change it so that they wouldn’t split the money they made during the marriage, but they would split anything they owned together. Belle agreed to this change, even though her lawyer said it was a bad idea.
In 2001, they bought an apartment in New York City. Belle used her money to buy it, but she put James’s name on it too. A few years later, she bought a summer house and did the same thing.
They had three children together. Belle stayed home to take care of the children, while James worked. She says that she sometimes resented this, but she thought it was important to support James’s career.
Over time, Belle and James talked about getting rid of their prenuptial agreement because it didn’t seem fair anymore. Belle had used her money to buy their homes, and James’s career had done well while she stayed home with the kids.
In 2019, they were going to meet with their lawyer to get rid of the agreement. But James said they should wait and instead make new wills.
Less than a year later, Belle found out that James was having an affair.
In 2020, the family was staying at their summer house because of the COVID-19 pandemic. Belle got a phone call from a man who said his wife was having an affair with James. James admitted it, and he said he wanted a divorce.
He left the house without saying goodbye to the children. He said that Belle could have the house, the apartment, and custody of the children. He didn’t want any of it.
James kept paying the bills, and he said he didn’t want official custody of the children. He thought they were old enough to decide when they wanted to see him.
In 2021, Belle found out how much money James had made over the years. She realized that the way they had changed the prenuptial agreement put her at a disadvantage.
She wrote that James could now claim ownership of their properties and keep all of his money.
Her lawyer tried to fight the agreement, but a judge said it was valid. The judge set a date for a trial to decide about child support and their property. James was angry about Belle’s attempt to fight the agreement.
He said he would only give her the minimum amount of child support required by law. He also said she would have to deal with the consequences of the prenuptial agreement.
James’s lawyer wrote to Belle and said that she could buy James’s share of their homes. But she couldn’t afford it.
She worried about her children losing their homes and about losing her own financial security.
She said that it felt like James was playing a game and that he wanted to win at all costs, even if it hurt her and their children.
Finally, an hour before the trial was supposed to start, Belle and James reached an agreement on their own. James made the terms, and Belle had to be calm and grateful.
James gave up his ownership of their properties and agreed to pay child support and the children’s medical and school expenses. He got to keep all the money he had made during their marriage.
Belle says that she doesn’t know why James decided to settle. She thinks that maybe he had always planned to give her the house and the apartment, but only after he had made her suffer.
She says that she has tried to let go of the anger and resentment she felt. She doesn’t think about the money or the details of the divorce very often anymore. But she is still disturbed by the fact that James seemed to have a plan all along and that he was willing to make her afraid when she was already devastated.
She also says that it hurt her when James made it clear that he didn’t think her contributions to his career and their family over the past 20 years were worth anything.
